How I won the lottery...

I know what you're thinking, and no I didn't actually win the real lottery... I can't even win on a scratch off lotto ticket... but I did take part in a lottery where most would say that I "won"... allow me to explain... From the beginning.

At my school we have 4 clinical experiences. When it comes to choosing where you'd like to do your clinical they have instilled a lottery mechanism to be "fair and just". Basically, it happens like this... Before any of your clinicals, at the beginning of your schooling, you get a number. Whatever that number is (let's just go with #20) means that's when you get to choose your clinical. So, at #20, 19 people would get the chance to choose a clinical before you. So, #1 gets to pick first and basically gets to go wherever he/she desires. Then, for the second clinical they flip it, so #1 becomes #38 (in my case because there are 38 students in our class) and #38 becomes #1 so that it's fair.

Now, on the first clinical experience everyone is placed on out-patient orthopedic because that is what we spend all of our time learning about the first year. So, really, there is no choice, because everyone goes to out-patient ortho and you only get a choice as to where you go. The second-forth clinicals are a little more exciting because you can choose in-patient, skilled nursing, pediatrics, cardiopulm, etc... So, I was really hoping I'd get a "late" number so that I'd be near the top for when the choosing actually begins.

Low and behold... I am #1. I get first choice on wherever I want to go for my first clinical. And, I'm probably the only person in the history of ever to be mad about it. I would've much rather have been further up on the list for round 2-4 where there ARE choices, especially since some of the places I want to go to are going to be high on lots of peoples' lists.

But, this must have happened for a reason and I'm not going to complain about it, I'm just going to REALLY research the clinical affiliations and choose the one that I feel will be best for me and keep my fingers crossed.

In the meantime, I'm still freaking out about school, but I'm just trying to push it aside for right now with the end of the semester fastly approaching.

I just keep telling myself, well, I made it through today and that's one less day I have to deal with...

42 more days until the end of the semester.

Oh hi. What's new and exciting?

Same old, same old here. I should really be studying physiology and anatomy instead of surfing the interwebz and writing in this thing, but as soon as I'm done here, I promise I'll get down and dirty with my books.

I went to counseling last week and it was weird; I guess it probably always is... nothing really got accomplished. My counselor told me that I need to not get stressed out about things that don't "matter". For example, my house is in a constant state of chaos because I never have time to clean it. Messes stress me out, thus when I am at home I am immediately stressed due to the dishes not being done, dishes all over the living room, dirt on the floor, clothes strewn about, etc.

Unfortunately, "breathing deeply" does not help me feel better about any of these things, so although I wanted to follow her advice, it's not really doing any good. The house is still a mess and thus I am still stressed.

She also told me I need to join the gym stat. No kidding. Once again, I told her I would do it, and yet I have had no time to go over to join (I suppose I could be doing THAT now instead of this, but oh well). I haven't worked out at all since August and it sucks. I went from working out 2 hours a day 4x a week to zero. I can tell I'm gaining weight and that makes me more stressed. I just don't know how to carve the time out to go when I feel stressed to the max about not having enough time. I mean, I can't even clean my house, let alone leave the house to go do something else. Ugh. I just need to do it and get over it, but I'm not done whining about it.

Anyway, we'll see what happens over the next few weeks when I go and if we can evaluate my study habits and figure out how I can be more effective then maybe that will help.

B.T.Dubs, I got a 98% on my anatomy test and a 98% on my clinical skills written exam. I'm sitting pretty; just unhappy.

So, anyway, I am looking forward to Thanksgiving week because J* and I are heading up to NYC to visit my HS girlfriend and stay for a few days. I cannot wait to get away from school and everything negative surrounding me right now; it is much, much, MUCH needed.

Besides that, only 42 days until the end of the semester. I just keep telling myself as each day passes, it's one less day I have to deal with; I got through it and I just need to push forward.

We'll see where I go from here...