The New Grad Blues

Ok, so... Here it goes... I have the new grad blues. I think this is normal... Or at least, I keep meeting with my former advisor from PT school (what a great opportunity that she can continue to be my mentor!) and she makes me feel this way. I had all these aspirations and "life will be so much better when..." moments, so to be honest I feel a little let down. Things aren't really panning out the way I had foreseen in my dreams.

Without sounding like a big baby, just take this with a grain of salt. The reason (well not the only one...) that I chose the job I did was because I had a clinical rotation there and it wasn't overly busy. The environment was slower than most OP clinics and of course, the pulmonary and cardiac rehab was a huge pull for me... However, since I started we have been blowing the doors off the clinic with so many new referrals. In fact, in April I saw the most patients a PT has seen *ever* in one month at the clinic. This is great for experience, great for keeping the day moving fast, but awful for my personal health. I am literally being run into the ground, sometimes needing to stay until 9pm at night to finish everything that I need to do... It's like I'm starting to get burnt out and I have literally just begun.

I know that OP clinics are busy, I get it. (Like I said, not trying to be a baby... although, this is my blog so I can say what I want!) But, I wouldn't be in OP if it wasn't for this particular company and their cardiopulmonary aspect. I'm starting to worry that perhaps this isn't the setting for me. I know that if I were to leave my current position (as in some day, like when I'm ready to move forward with my career) I wouldn't really want to take my base knowledge of orthopedics and head to another OP clinic. It's just not me. There are plenty of people who love ortho and that is fantastic. And I am loving the well-rounded experience I am getting right now, but it's not something I'm going to specialize in later on in my career. Additionally, I am a bit worried about my base knowledge I'm gaining in cardiopulmonary. This is something I have great interest in but I am trying to be realistic about my options for moving forward in this specialized area. I'm not so sure that there are that many opportunities for someone who wants to focus purely on cardiopulmonary.

So, this newfound doubt plus the overwhelming stress of literally doing nothing but work/sleep has me feeling blue. In fact, it has me feeling like maybe I shouldn't have gone to PT school at all. I love my patients and I love patient care and I love most things about my job, but the stress is too much. I just feel like I am being pushed so much for being a new grad. I mean, I'm seeing as many (and sometimes more!) patients a day as my mentor/boss who has almost 20 years of experience. It's just daunting. I'm not asking someone to pat me on the back and baby me, but for crying out loud - I. Am. Exhausted.