HALFWAY Through ClinEd Two!!

Yesterday I had my midterm review with my CI. Overall, it went pretty well. We had a really nice discussion about things, but I felt like she rated me much lower than what we talked about as to where I am currently. Oh well. I know I have room to grow and that's always a goal to work on. To be honest, I am getting a little tired this time around with clinical. I am just feeling burnt out and tired. I am trying very hard to stay very positive, because I don't want to be negative, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited every time Friday rolls around. I never felt that way with my first clinical, and it's not that I don't like acute care, I just don't love it...

     Here's to hoping the rest of the clinical goes smoothly and it's week 10 before I know it! 

T-minus 7 days to survival of Semester 1!

Well, I'm still here. In 7 days I will be done with my first semester of PT school and it has been really wild. I still haven't decided where I want to go for my 1st clinical, and I really need to take advantage of being in the first spot for choosing... I don't really want to think that far in advance, honestly. I'm too busy worrying about my anatomy and physiology finals. I am doing well in both courses, but I am at a borderline A and so one slip up could potentially have me failing either. Although I have my struggles about being in school, I would prefer it to be my decision to quit, not that I failed a course and was unable to continue.

A question I find myself asking a lot is, how do you figure out if something/anything is "worth it"?

Sometimes when I get A's on my tests it doesn't even feel good. Only because I know how much farther I have to go in this journey to even get through school, and because usually it's immediately time to start preparing for the next batch of tests. But, it hit me for a second the other day... I got a 95% in my clinical skills class... That means that I know 95% of what I was supposed to know... That's huge. Why am I acting like it's not? I think that I get so overwhelmed with everything going on around me, that I don't even realize how far I've come in just this short amount of time.

In fact, I know for certain that I passed two of my four classes (clinical skills) and my principles of practice course, because the finals were this week, in what I like to call "Hell Week #2" Remember Hell Week the first time? Yeah, not fun.

However, this time I only cried twice, instead of every day, and I didn't have a complete mental breakdown leading to a horrible anatomy lab practical grade. So, I've improved.

I took yesterday off after my last test and came home and stayed in bed all day, and slept in today and did some Christmas shopping. Now I feel like I'm ready to do this and get it over with.

My anatomy final is cumulative, so it's going to be hard and I need to try to remember everything I've learned along the way, and that's a lot... Physiology is all about digestion which is not my favorite thing to study, so I've got to gear up and get in it.

Hopefully, soon, I'll be celebrating that I passed all my courses and can move onto semester #2.

The countdown is becoming much more real...

41 days until the first day of school... Let me just throw some adjectives out there of what I'm feeling:

excited, nervous, determined, scared, committed, unsure, proud, sick.

Yes, I realize that these words are contradictory... But, alas, that's what I feel, so I'm saying it. It feels like I made this commitment YEARS ago (In reality, it was only about 7 months ago) and even longer since I was in a classroom learning (hello August 2010).

Thus, I am a creature of habit, and I have grown quite used to my habits, my life as it is right now. Friday was a hard day for me. It was my very last day of work at the Physics Department. Honestly, if that job paid more and was in a closer location to my new house, I would keep it forever. The physics department taught me so much more than I ever expected. I remember being so nervous to start (I'm always anxiety ridden when I start something new) and on Friday I was crying because it had all come to an end.

I'm excited to start school, but I am so sad to leave all those I've become so close with in the past year behind. I really felt so important and appreciated at my job, and I will cherish that time forever.

And so, I am almost done with getting everything in line for school; just my terrible, horrible bloodwork awaits me (needles, needles, needles... hate, hate hate) and then I'll have everything set; other than my parking pass.

I also applied for unemployment and I'm hoping to be able to keep renewing it throughout my schooling; but we'll see if I can keep re-opening my claim or not. Right now my initial claim is being processed, so we'll keep our fingers crossed that I can get a couple hundred dollars every 2 weeks to help with the cost of gas and whatnot.

So, I am both anxiety-filled and excitement-filled as the last 6 weeks of freedom are closing in on me and school will be starting sooner, rather than later.