My first "real" grade...

Ok, I don't have a ton of free time to post, because our first huge exams are coming up next Monday and I definitely need to study as much as possible. I have a LOT of muscles to memorize and a lot of information to integrate into my brain in what seems like an impossibly short amount of time.

In any case, I wanted to write so that I could have a giggle at myself and also let everyone know that I did have my first "real assignment" and I got a 10/10 on my physiology quiz.

I was pretty excited because physiology doesn't come easy to me and I really didn't use my notes/book at all (only on one question) and I was able to get all the questions right. It gave me a little bit of confidence to just buckle down and get this stuff into my brain.

So, although at times I feel discouraged and unsure, I feel like so far this week, I feel a lot more confident. Plus, my horoscope ruled and I just want to share it with you because it's amazing advice:

"Some construction workers walk along steel girders hundreds of feet above ground with no worry whatsoever. They believe that, if you can walk along a girder on the ground without falling off, then you can do the same 200 feet higher. There's something you must do that you're more than capable of doing. You feel daunted though by the fact that you have to do it in a new way or environment. Just take it one step at a time. All will be fine."

Week 3: I think I can, I think I can...

Although I'm still having a rough time, I did manage to have one really good day this week (and that was yesterday)! So I figure that if I can just start to have more days like yesterday, then eventually they will all be better.

I really want to try to keep being positive and telling myself that I can do this. I am an intelligent person and this is something that I worked hard to get to, and it would be so silly to quit now when I've come a long way to get here, being a nontraditional student.

That being said, I hate feet. No, I really do. There are so many muscles! I used to be worried about being able to name the bones in the feet, but after having lectures on the intrinsic and extrinsic muscles, the bones are literally a piece of cake.

The good news is, we aren't getting anymore new material (muscle wise) until after September 24th, which is our first test. I now have a little over one week to learn all the muscles, their origins, insertions, innervations and actions of the lower limb.

But, I am going to be positive and say that I can do this and believe it! It's going to be a rough ride, and I'm off to a really rough start, but I really want to prove that I can do this. I can do it, these science classes are intense, but I can do it.

Well, I'm going to stop giving myself a pep talk and get back to finishing my muscles flashcards. :)

I dream about anatomy...

Yeah, I'm definitely immersed in my courses. Two nights ago I spent the entire night dreaming about vastus lateralis, vastus medialis, and vastus intermedius.... Followed by a rousing night in dream land on nerves!

Right now, I'm just trying to keep my head above water... Hoping that I'll click with some classmates soon, that it will all click within my head, that I'll remember why I started this long journey in the first place.

But, right now I've got to take it one day at a time. I tried to stay after class today to study, but I just feel like I'm not getting anything out of it. I came home and spent 40 minutes and got a lot further than I did in almost 2 hours with my classmates. I don't want to give up on group study sessions because there are lots of things I do want to talk over and practice with others, but I feel like I need to get my base built, I need to see what it is that I know before I combine it with other people.

Tonight I get to attend an APTA meeting, and although I'd really like to stay home and study (since I'm in the groove and J* won't be home all night) I need to go and get this marked off my to-do list. Plus, it is about tai chi and I'm really interested in seeing what they have to say. I'm sure I'll write a blog post about it when I have a moment either later tonight or tomorrow, if it's worth sharing. ;)

Anyway, I am just trying to maul through all the personal struggles I'm having while trying to pretend like everything is absolutely fine on the inside . I'm worried that if I don't "shape up" soon that lots of things are going to happen- namely I won't do well on my tests, and I'm concerned about how long J* can be supportive without just telling me to get over everything.

Well, I need to get my shoes on and get ready to leave to go to this ATPA meeting, so until next time!

Week 2... It's not going to get any easier...

So, I made it through my second week of schooling and to be honest, I don't know what the heck I'm doing. I feel like I am so far behind compared to some of my classmates with knowledge, I can't get into a group study mode where I feel like I've actually learned something and for some reason I'm having a terrible time organizing myself (which has never been an issue before.)

Right now I'm feeling like I really miss my old job... way more than I thought I would.

Interdisciplinary Day

On Friday we ended the week by being required to attend an interdisciplinary event. Basically, students from the graduate school health programs all came together and were able to meet, mingle and then we were broken up into small groups and given a case study. We had to discuss what each of our roles would be within the case study and listen about each others' careers. There were DPT students, MOT students, Nursing students, PA students, and clinical psychologist students present.

For the most part it wasn't that great; it wasn't organized very well and it was very hard to hear the members within your group because there were around 20 groups all in a huge auditorium all talking at the same time.

After we finished reviewing the case study, talking about our roles, etc we had a speaker... Surprise (ok, not really) the person that was the speaker was the person that the case study was built on. (A C6-C7 spinal cord injury; he is categorized as a quadriplegic but has pretty good movement in his upper limbs/body, although in the past couple of years he has lost some fine motor control; his accident was 28 years ago). It was a great story, got me teary-eyed a few times and thankful for everything in my life as well as excited to be able to help make a huge impact on someone's life, much like the doctors/therapists made an impact on him.

The real reason I'm posting this is, though, I was APPALLED by the members in my group and their attitude towards PT/OT. One girl outright asked us "What exactly do you do?" and seemed insistent that we had absolutely no role from the beginning in the patient and was more concerned about what she and her classmates (PA students) would do in the ER.

My fellow DPT student and I, as well as an MOT student did our best to educate those within our group, but honestly.... The profession has GOT to do something about this.

I really couldn't believe the attitudes that came out today and I hope that after meeting me and my classmate that the students we were in contact with can understand that we play a huge role in the patient's well-being.

I'm also hoping that as we all go through schooling, everyone is able to recognize the roles that various healthcare providers play and then acknowledge those roles as being important in their own independent way; not in a competitive format.

A nursing student did make a comment about when being out in clinical (a hospital/in-patient setting) she said that the members of the healthcare team rarely acknowledged each other as humans; they rarely even made eye contact and said "Hello" to each other and she hoped that as we all went through our schooling that we would be able to remember that each and every one of us is first off, a human being, that at least deserves the respect of a handshake and a greeting. Needless to say, everyone applauded after her comment and I truly hope that this is the attitude of all of those in the programs at the university I'm attending, as well as elsewhere.

I Did It: Week One

Well... As I'm sitting on my couch, watching a special on UFO's (trying not to think about the anatomy and physiology I should be studying) I can say I'm officially finished with my first week of DPT school.

It's definitely interesting... in lots of ways. The content is interesting, the way my classmates are all starting to interact is interesting and my mental/emotional state is definitely "interesting". Most mornings start off with me feeling extremely enthusiastic and ready to learn and end with me either almost in tears/wanting to be in tears, anxiety-ridden and thinking, "What the hell am I doing?"

All of my classmates are really nice, and I'm starting to form relationships with most of them and so having people to relate with will be good to lean on when the going gets tough. I'm sure that I'll stick with this, I just want all the fear and anxiety to disappear so that I can remember why exactly I wanted to do this, since I feel like I made the decision years and years ago. (Ok, it was just 2 years ago, but whatever!)

So... what did I learn in my first week?

• Some people have never seen a cadaver before DPT school
• DPT Orientation is very long and is full of the 700 ways you can fail out of the program
• Some of my classmates appear to be light-years ahead of me
• But, when I talk to them, they feel the same way as I do
• I probably should have studied anatomy over the summer even though everyone told me not to worry about it
• I need to learn how to get over my dislike of physiology so that I can do well in the course
• Anatomy is already kicking my ass

So, one week down... only 14 more in the semester! ;)