Right now, I'm just trying to keep my head above water... Hoping that I'll click with some classmates soon, that it will all click within my head, that I'll remember why I started this long journey in the first place.
But, right now I've got to take it one day at a time. I tried to stay after class today to study, but I just feel like I'm not getting anything out of it. I came home and spent 40 minutes and got a lot further than I did in almost 2 hours with my classmates. I don't want to give up on group study sessions because there are lots of things I do want to talk over and practice with others, but I feel like I need to get my base built, I need to see what it is that I know before I combine it with other people.
Tonight I get to attend an APTA meeting, and although I'd really like to stay home and study (since I'm in the groove and J* won't be home all night) I need to go and get this marked off my to-do list. Plus, it is about tai chi and I'm really interested in seeing what they have to say. I'm sure I'll write a blog post about it when I have a moment either later tonight or tomorrow, if it's worth sharing. ;)
Anyway, I am just trying to maul through all the personal struggles I'm having while trying to pretend like everything is absolutely fine on the inside . I'm worried that if I don't "shape up" soon that lots of things are going to happen- namely I won't do well on my tests, and I'm concerned about how long J* can be supportive without just telling me to get over everything.
Well, I need to get my shoes on and get ready to leave to go to this ATPA meeting, so until next time!
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